Freelancer loneliness is no joke – and it’s widespread. In a survey of 1,500 freelancers*, 64 per cent said they regularly felt lonely, while a shocking 55 per cent said the social isolation of working alone had left them feeling depressed.

Sure, no one misses the office politics and the tedious commute, but we’re social creatures and it’s easy to miss the buzz and connection of working in an office – no matter how independent, self-reliant or introverted you are.

Spending weeks on end staring at the same four walls with only the cat for company is a sure-fire recipe for misery and frustration (believe me, I’ve been there!).

Prioritising your mental health is key to a happy, healthy working life – and combatting loneliness is a great place to start. As I say in Survival Skills for Freelancers, going solo doesn’t mean going it alone.

Here are six tried and tested tips to help you avoid isolation and stay connected.

1. Vary your surroundings

Getting out of the house might sound counterintuitive. After all, the point of working from home is, well… to work from home, right?

Yes and no. Spending too long in your own company isn’t just draining – it contributes to feelings of isolation and reduces productivity.

Many freelancers find shared working gives them the lifeline they need to overcome the loneliness that comes with the job title – and those who use coworking spaces get a lot more from doing so than desk space.

When I asked the freelance community what they enjoy about coworking, responses included the buzz, camaraderie and chat, opportunities for collaboration, improved productivity, mutual support, the chance to network, less loneliness, a vital boundary between work and home – and, of course, great coffee!

But it’s not essential to join an organised coworking space to get a sense of community.

I enjoy the buzz and connection that comes from working in the lounge bar at my gym (noise cancelling AirPods essential!) but you may prefer to mix it up by trying different coffee shops, your local library, or even a park when the weather is good.

Even varying your surroundings once a week helps to combat that Groundhog Day feeling.

2. Schedule in rest and social time

When you’re smashing through a busy workload, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself – but you can’t keep running on empty!

Taking on too much and trying to do it all with too few breaks is the quickest route to freelancer burnout.

Building regular breaks and exercise into your daily routine helps to release endorphins – those powerful, feel-good chemicals that help to ease stress, anxiety, and depression.

Here are just a few ways to build exercise into your day:

• Go for a run, swim or bike ride
• Take the dog for a long walk in muddy wellies
• Dance around your kitchen while you wait for the kettle to boil
• Challenge a friend to a game of tennis.
• Lift some weights at the gym
• Take a yoga, Zumba or spin class.

Even if you don’t feel like it – in fact, especially then – forcing yourself to disengage from ‘office mode’ can recharge your batteries and help you return to your desk with renewed focus and energy.

3. Find your tribe online

When I started out as a freelancer, there was no social media – in fact, there was barely any internet!

These days, there are ready-made online networks of amazing, talented and creative people just like you, all around the world.

Finding likeminded people to cowork, collaborate and share with can be a real gamechanger when you’re self-employed – and groups such as Being Freelance and the Marketing Meetup community are a great place to start.

Group members share their experiences and post questions, challenges and suggestions, and the community responds with help, support and advice.

As with most things in life, you get out of online communities what you put in – so dig in, introduce yourself, browse their posts, give generously, and don’t self-promote unless you’re invited to!

4. Join local business networks

Networking can be a lifeline for the home-based freelancer – as well as a great source of new clients and colleagues – and it’s not as scary as you may think.

I used to think networking wasn’t for me.

I equated the word with standing in a room full of serious, suit-wearing strangers, all set on selling their services.

Then I discovered that not all networking is the same – and that the secret to enjoying it is to find the groups and events that fit your business and personality. Be prepared to experiment with different groups and formats and you’re sure to find your tribe.

It can take a while to find the right networking for you, but you’ll know it when you find it.

Try asking the freelance communities online for recommendations in your local area, or check out Facebook Events, Eventbrite or meetup.com for inspiration.

5. Limit your use of social media

This one is less about connecting and more about protecting!

Social media has a habit of amplifying our feelings. If you’re feeling confident, resilient and in control – great. But when you’re feeling low, disconnected or lonely the last thing you need is the highlights of everyone else’s seemingly perfect lives.

Remember that social media is edited highlights – and don’t be afraid to take a social detox when comparisonitis starts to get the better of you.

Switch off, pick up the phone or arrange to meet a friend for a natter. I guarantee it’ll make you feel better.

As the saying goes, “Don’t compare your insides with other people’s outsides”. Stay in your own lane, and don’t worry about what other people are – or appear to be – doing.

6. Help someone else

Finally, one of the best ways to lift yourself out of a rut and to shift your focus outwards is to help someone else.

Cultivate an attitude of collaboration, rather than seeing those who do the same job as you as your competitors.

Offer to help out at local business events, to speak at meetings or conferences, or to guest on your favourite podcast.

It may take you outside your comfort zone but it’ll give you a renewed focus and a confidence boost into the bargain.

What will you do differently today?

*Freelancer Loneliness Survey, undertaken by The Leadership Factor (TLF), commissioned by Viking, 2019.

“I’ll never be good enough”

“I can’t do that!”

“How could I be so stupid?”

We can all be our own worst enemy from time to time – and we’re all familiar with the mean voice inside our head telling us we’re not good enough.

Perhaps, for you, the fear is that you’ll never be clever enough, funny enough, confident enough. That you’re not a good enough parent, or partner, or friend.

However negative self-talk shows up for you, it’s damaging your confidence and holding you back.

The corrosive impact of negative self-talk

Having a negative internal dialogue may seem harmless, but it’s not.

Shakespeare wrote, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so”.

Our thoughts have incredible power, and our brain has a habit of believing what we tell it.

Constant negative self-talk can damage your self-esteem and have a permanent impact on your self-worth. It even increases the production of the stress hormone cortisol, which dents your resilience.

That mean voice can impact everything from your relationships to the chances of grasping exciting opportunities… even how much you charge for your work.

So – how do you stop it?

Be kind to your mind

We’ve all heard the quote “Work hard and be nice to people” – but it’s not just other people we need to be nice to.

The things we repeatedly tell ourselves tend to become our reality, so the first step is to become aware of the language you’re using when you talk to yourself.

If you’re in the habit of berating yourself when you make a mistake, and you’re unforgiving when something doesn’t go to plan, make a choice to be kind to you.

Try reframing mistakes as learning opportunities. Instead of saying, “You’re an idiot! How could you let that happen?!” tell yourself, “That didn’t go so well, but I can learn from the experience. Next time I’ll do it differently.”

Learn to silence negative thoughts and turn them into positives. Instead of “I don’t fit in” say “By showing up regularly I’ll soon get to know people”.

Rather than telling yourself, “I can’t do it” break the goal into smaller chunks and focus on taking the first step.

(Readers of a certain age will know what I mean if I mention Pollyanna’s glad game.)

As a golden rule, if you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.

Compare and despair

Negative self-talk can be triggered by comparisonitis. Social media is a common culprit, and time online has a habit of amplifying your feelings – good or bad.

If scrolling through Instagram leaves you feeling down on yourself – as if everyone else is smashing it, and you’re getting left behind – take a digital detox until you’re feeling stronger and more resilient.

Bye bye inner critic, hello inner coach

We all have an inner critic and an inner coach, but our inner critics are often so bloomin’ loud that our inner coach struggles to be heard!

You can change that.

Choose to be your own biggest supporter – using positive internal dialogue to encourage and coach yourself into grasping opportunities, trying new things, and growing in confidence.

It can take time to get into the habit of tuning out that destructive nagging voice, but it’s worth the effort.

Let me know how you get on.

Social media is a great way to raise awareness of your business. Platforms such as LinkedIn, Instagram and TikTok are free, available 24/7 and have the potential of global reach. And with the average Brit spending more than 4 hours on social each day, the possibilities are endless.

Yet despite all the positives, it can be hard to get your voice heard – and your posts read! – among the chatter.

Here are 10 tips to help you write better social media posts.

1. Choose your platform

“Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Threads, TikTok, YouTube, X/Twitter… I don’t have time!”

Damn right! Social media can be a huge time suck if you don’t keep it in check – and besides, you have bills to pay and deadlines to meet!

Trying to master every platform is a huge mistake. Instead, pick one or two where your target clients hang out and focus your attention there.

As Steve Jobs famously said: “Do not try to do everything. Do one thing well.”

2. You do you

Your tone of voice should reflect your brand wherever your customers find you. Trying to be something you’re not is exhausting (I speak from experience – but that’s a whole other post).

Being true to yourself helps you to attract the right clients.

For example, don’t aim for serious and formal if you’re naturally warm, friendly and somewhat chaotic. And sure, if you’re edgy and outspoken you may put people off – but those are not your people.

3. Be more human, less robot

Whether you’re business to business (B2B) or business to consumer (B2C), remember you’re a person trying to help another person.

Use clear, conversational language – you’re and isn’t trump you are and is not – and avoid jargon, acronyms, clichés and business speak (say no to blue-sky thinking!).

4. KISS

Keep it simple, stupid (rude!) is good advice whatever you’re writing, but it’s particularly true of social media, where potential customers are used to scanning and scrolling fast!*

Remember, you have seconds to grab your audience’s focus so get straight to the point.

Aim for an attention-grabbing, thought-provoking first line (also called a hook) or headline followed by short, easily digestible bites of information.

Edit ruthlessly to cut unnecessary words, and consider using emojis as bullets to help your text stand out.

*The average reader has an attention span of just 8 seconds 😮

5. Get emotional

Martin Luther King said, “If you talk to a man using a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to a man in his language, that goes to his heart.”

Pronouns aside, it’s worth keeping in mind. Create pictures with your words and keep empathy in mind. Aim to trigger an emotional – heart – response and you’re far more likely to make a lasting impression.

To quote Seth Godin: “People do not buy goods or services. They buy relations, stories and magic.”

And magic sure doesn’t come from features and benefits.

6. Keep it personal

When you’re told to write as if you’re talking directly to your audience, it’s easy to imagine addressing a group of people.

Instead, think of your writing as a direct conversation with an individual and address the reader as you. (We’re all more likely to engage when we feel like someone is speaking directly to us.)

As Shirley Polykoff said, “Copy is a direct conversation with the consumer.”

If you’re a company of one, I’d recommend using I and me in your writing, rather than we and us* – and avoid the indirectness of terms such as ‘the company’ or ‘the client’.

*I explain why in detail in Survival Skills for Freelancers.

7. Include a call to action

Social platforms are a two-way street, not a broadcast medium.

Finish your post with a poll or question to encourage your audience to respond. Direct readers to your website or a landing page for more info, or invite them to sign up to your newsletter.

Either way, make sure they know how to contact you if they need to.

PRO TIP: think about including links to relevant pages on your website or related blogs, if appropriate.

8. Remember: it’s not about you!

There’s nothing more off-putting than the hard sell in social media posts.

(“Hello, I’m a copywriter – let me write your website!” is more likely to provoke an unfollow than an enquiry!)

Instead of using your posts to talk about your skills and achievements, put yourself in your customer’s shoes.

What problem do they have that you can solve with your product or service? What can you help them achieve?

Address a need and you’ll get a far better response.

As with all kinds of copywriting, it’s better to show than to tell. Your customers don’t care that you pride yourself on your excellent customer service.

Flip it to show what that means for the reader: fast delivery times, loyalty discounts, 24/7 support, etc.

9. Prove it!

We all love to feel part of something bigger than ourselves – and if the community we’re part of recommends a company, product or service they love, we’re more likely to invest in it ourselves.

This is the concept of social proof – just one of the six principles of persuasion identified by Robert Cialdini in his popular book, Influence.

Keep this in mind when you’re writing your posts.

Can you build in stats on how many people have ordered your star product, or quotes from happy customers?

10. Check, check and check again

Finally, if your website is your shopfront, social media is your window dressing. Yes, it’s less formal than a website, but that’s no excuse for sloppiness.

Your posts may not be seen for long but they’re out there forever, and spelling mistakes, typos, bad grammar and poorly written copy reflect badly on your personal or company brand.

Always check your updates before posting, whether it’s a lengthy LinkedIn article or a ten-word tweet.

And don’t fall foul of those commonly confused words that completely change the meaning of your message – like asking a client to ‘BARE with me’!

The Little Book of Confusables 1 and 2 contain fun, memorable spelling and usage tips for over 1,000 commonly confused – and misused – words.

Because we ALL have language blindspots!

If you post frequently (and you should – consistency and regularity are key to social success) think about hiring a copywriter, social media manager and/or proofreader to help you write better social media posts.

It’ll save you time and money in the long-run, and could increase your chances of success – which is why we’re all here, right?

Remember how you loved the idea of working for yourself? How you were drawn to the freedom and flexibility of freelance life? How you’d get to be in control of how you spend your time and energy, and to pick the clients – and the work – that inspires you?

What happened?!

It’s common to come off the treadmill of employment only to find yourself on a whole other treadmill.

You’re working crazy hours just to get by, no more in charge of your time than when you were employed, and what’s worse, you’ve swapped one boss for multiple bosses (hint – they’re not you!).

You’re not alone.

According to research by Leapers, 61% of freelancers are stressed by long hours and tight deadlines.

But there is a better way.

It’s okay to say no to work that doesn’t fulfil you.

It’s okay to admit you can’t do it all, and to ask for help.

And it’s okay – scrap that, it’s downright essential – to set boundaries that protect your energy and prioritise your mental health.

So, how do you take back control of your freelance business, and get more enjoyment from self-employment?

The empowering magic of saying no

When you’re self-employed it’s tempting to take on every piece of work that comes your way, especially when you’re starting out. Money is tight, paying clients are scarce, and you’re trying hard to build up your reputation.

Once you’ve established a handful of regular clients and a steady flow of work you have a little more freedom to ask, “Is this right for me?”.

Ask yourself:

Does it suit your skills?

If a client is asking for skills you don’t have or services you don’t offer, be honest and realistic. While you may be able to upskill in a particular area, taking on work that’s way beyond your capabilities is a recipe for stress and overwhelm

Is the timescale realistic to do a professional job?

We’ve all been there: “I’ll need it back tomorrow,” they say. If you don’t have the capacity to fit work in at short notice – and, frankly, most good freelancers won’t – ask if there’s wiggle room in the deadline. You can’t do your best work when you’re stretched to your limits, and most clients are prepared to wait for the right person to do the job.

Is the pay worthwhile?

Don’t undersell yourself. Knowing how to price your work as a freelancer can be tough. As a bare minimum, aim to charge standard industry rates for the job, as well as covering legitimate expenses. (Remember, as a freelancer you don’t get sick pay, holiday pay, a pension or any of the other financial benefits associated with employment.) You might find the Work Notes pricing guide helpful here.

What is your instinct telling you?

Being stuck in a cycle of attracting and accepting the wrong work takes the joy out of freelance life. But what is the wrong work? Your gut often recognises it before you do! Perhaps the client shows signs of not respecting the value you provide. Maybe they’re quick to quibble over your costs, telling you they can get the work done much cheaper elsewhere. Perhaps they’re vague about job specs or set unrealistic deadlines. If your instinct tells you to steer clear, listen to it – it’s usually for a good reason.

Takeaway tip: Being honest, professional and businesslike from the start will help to establish respect and trust from potential clients – and save you a lot of stress and aggro later.

Ask for help if you need it

As freelancers, we wear a lot of hats! It’s easy to feel like you have to be your own accountant, do all your own admin, troubleshoot your own tech, and be your own life coach.

Newsflash: you don’t.

It took me a loooong time to realise this, and I could’ve saved myself a lot of time and stress had I learned it sooner!

Outsourcing the tasks you don’t enjoy, you’re not good at, and that don’t make you money is just good business sense. Spending half your time on tasks that drain your time and energy can leave you questioning why you went into business in the first place!

The more time you spend doing the thing you love – and the thing that makes you money – the more fulfilled and happy your freelance life will be.

So, how do you decide what to outsource? Start by writing a list of the tasks you do each day and rate them according to:

• how good you are at them
• how much you enjoy them

The tasks that score low are those you should look at outsourcing first. Many freelancers start by outsourcing their accounts and IT support.

Finding the right person for the job may take a little while, but soon you’ll have a team of experts working for you and supporting your business while you get on with doing the thing you love.

And that feels good.

Set healthy boundaries

Freelancing can feel like a constant juggling act – between different clients, tasks, projects and deadlines. To stay on top of your game, you’ll need to set healthy boundaries with realistic expectations of your time and attention. Feeling like you’re permanently on call is a recipe for burnout.

• Set an email auto response that lets clients know you just check your email a couple of times a day – and stick to it! It reassures them that you’ve received their email, manages their expectations on when to expect a response, and sends a clear signal that you won’t be pulled off task every few minutes when you’re working for them.
• Hide your number I know many freelancers who don’t publish their phone number, and for good reason! Unplanned calls can be a real distraction when you’re focused and productive. Unless you really can’t avoid answering the phone, let calls go to voicemail and encourage the client to book an appointment at a mutually convenient time when they can expect your undivided attention. Apps such as Calendly and Acuity Scheduling are great for this.
• Design your day Freelance life isn’t about the 9 to 5. Ultimately, your clients don’t care what hours you work, as long as you get the work done on time, so set working hours that work for you. Communicate them in your email signature and terms of business.

Takeaway tip: Setting clear, professional ground rules makes life easier for both you and your client – and helps you avoid burnout.

The bottom line…

Follow these golden rules to take back control of your freelance business and get more enjoyment from self-employment:

1. Set boundaries
   Remember – you’re the boss! Learn to say no to the clients and work that aren’t the right fit for your values, experience or schedule. By doing so, you’ll open up space for the projects that are a good match for your skills, personality and passion – and that’s pure gold!
2. Get clear on your process
   Communicate clear ground rules on what each project does and doesn’t cover, and on when you will and won’t respond to emails or phonecalls. When you manage your clients’ expectations, they’re less likely to micro manage, and more likely to trust you to deliver when you say you will.
3. Ask for help
   It’s a sign of strength, not weakness! You’ll have a team of experts in your corner and you’ll get to spend more time doing the thing you love – which is the reason you went into business in the first place, right?!

Create clear boundaries that work for you and you’ll find yourself with less stress, a richer work–life balance, and a more fulfilling freelance life.

And who doesn’t want that?

 

Have you ever thought about the way you view the people who do the same job as you?

Do you consider them to be your competition?

Or do you see them as your community?

I’m willing to bet that those of you who answered community find freelance life more fulfilling, supportive and fun – and I’m here to tell you why.

But first, there’s really no shame in answering competition.

We go freelance to share our skills with the world, and woe betide anyone who gets in our way.

It’s natural to feel cautious when we come across those doing the same job as us, for fear they’ll poach our projects or steal our ideas.

But that thinking is based on fear – and being rooted in fear is not a nice place to be.

Nor does it help you feel fulfilled or satisfied in your job.

The sooner you adopt an abundant mindset – that knowledge that there’s plenty of work for everyone – the happier you’ll be.

The importance of community

So, why is community so important?

When you started freelance life, chances are you loved the idea of being your own boss, and having complete control over when, where and how you work.

But we’re often unprepared for just how lonely and isolating freelance life can be.

Without colleagues and workmates, you’ve no one to offload on about that difficult client, or to ask what to charge for that piece of work.

You’ve no one to turn to when the fear of failure, self-doubt and imposter syndrome kick in – or to ask for advice when you’re struggling to deal with procrastination and lack of focus!

(Quick plug: all these things and more are covered in Survival Skills for Freelancers!)

And that’s where community comes in.

You’re not alone

As I say in Survival Skills for Freelancers, going solo doesn’t mean going it alone.

Because those likeminded people who do the same job as you can support you through thick and thin as a freelancer.

So where do you find them?

Let me take you back…

When I started my freelance journey back in 1999, there was no freelance community because there was no social media.

And there was no social media because there was barely any internet!

(I know, right?!)

Today, you’re spoilt for choice.

So where do you start?

Finding your tribe

You have the professional bodies, with all the fabulous events and support they provide.

You have thriving Facebook groups, such as Being Freelance.

You have active communities on Instagram and LinkedIn.

You have real-life networking groups.

I have a WhatsApp group of fellow copywriters that’s become invaluable.

We support and help one another through challenging days, we’re a sounding board for new ideas, we share work and we collaborate on projects that are too big to handle alone.

Then what?

Once you’ve found your community, jump on in!

Like most things in life, you get out of any community what you put in – so show up, be authentically you, contribute, share advice, support and wisdom…

…and you’ll get those things back in spades.

There’s no need to feel isolated as a freelancer.

Once you start to grow and nurture your community, you’ll feel a lot less alone and a lot more supported – and get more fun and fulfilment from freelance life as a result.

And who doesn’t want that?!